I believe this.
But I don't think it is necessarily constricted to prayer alone. I should know, after the damage I've caused.
Even then, I knew I had caused it. It would be easy to say that I was too young to understand that I had the power to affect the lives of people hundreds of miles away. In fact, I could tell you that the entire idea is preposterous and no sensible person would ever believe such nonsense. I could blame it all on my mother; I could tell you how she threatened us with hickory switches and denied us the coca-cola in the fridge. I could simply say, I was the only girl out of five, and that would be sufficient, would it not?
To be fair, I was too young to handle it correctly. And, it was only through a series of events that I really began to apply the patterns. But, even so, I knew each and every time I had an effect, albeit after the fact.
It was later in life, when I had grown bitter, a bit angry and rebellious, that I actually incorporated intent. Now see....that's just a lie. I learned very early how to read the emotions, personalities, do the subsequent math therein to theorize an outcome and execute the methods; it was a game of chess to me. Still, before all that negativity took hold, I really did those things out of a sense of right and wrong. Sure, it brought some people down, but, in my way of thinking, those people needed to be brought down. They were dangerous to themselves and others and no one saw it as clearly as I could. I couldn't just explain it to anyone-no one listens to a spacey, skinny, dirty little girl, especially when it comes to matters so in-depth.
Although Mama worried about the amount of time I spent in repetitive thought and speech, she was really more relieved that I was capable of occupying myself. We didn't have the cable TV to water down the energy of a child who's mother is over worked and tired. There was no Internet. I did love Odyssey, though, but it was just a computerized version of what I did day after day, hour after hour, anyway.
I must sound crazy to you. Or narcissistic. Perhaps I am, but I doubt it. I don't think I'm special. I'm just like you. If you had been in my position, you may have been capable of so much more. More good. More evil.
